Questions!

During PiNK's winter Bible study, girls have submitted questions they'd like to have answered. Here are the answers to the questions asked so far:

1. When you try to stop surrounding yourself with people how do you not hurt their feelings and what if they keep coming back?

I'm thinking you are speaking about surrounding yourself with people who do not live for Christ....

Unfortunately, sometimes feelings do get hurt when you decide to sell out and live for Christ. It's not something you intentionally do, but your decision to live for Christ will draw boundaries your friends will not understand. Maybe if they keep coming back they are looking for Christ. Here are some things to do to help you work through this...

a. Spend personal prayer time daily with God.... actually the Bible says, "to pray without ceasing", meaning to pray all day long. I find myself asking Him questions daily, so I talk to Him all day long.

b. Learn the Word of God. Study the Word daily. Ask God to show you things in the Word which can make you stronger and apply them daily.

c. Ask God to help you find at least one or two good friends who love Him.

d. Seek God for direction on how to handle them. Sometimes you have to make a stand and say, "I'm no longer doing those things, I'm living my life for Christ now, and I like you as a person, but I can't do the things we used to do anymore."

2. What are some self-esteem building verses in the Bible?

Self-esteem issues can come from many different factors in our lives, but believing God's perspective helps us keep a healthy self-esteem.

Biblical self esteem consist in seeing ourselves as God sees us, and accepting ourselves as God accepts us. This is founded on the humble acknowledgment that God is responsible for every positive attribute we possess. "Know that the Lord is God. It is He who has made us." Psalm 100:3. See 1 Corinthians 4:7. This foundation enables us to enjoy and use every good quality, without trace of pride or false humility, because God receives the glory. A biblical perspective on our self esteem enables us to see ourselves realistically and accept ourselves as we are both in our human condition and as we are in Christ--- a new creation.

Self esteem includes many specific areas. Nine key areas are addressed below and are from a biblical perspective. The first five areas have been especially distorted by our cultural values. We struggle with self esteem to the degree that we accept society's value rather than God's in these areas. See Romans 12:3, Ephesians 2:10 and 2 Corinthians 10:12.

1. Appearance - God values the inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit over physical attractiveness. See 1 Peter 3:3,4 and Proverbs 31:30

2. Competence - "Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God" (2 Corinthians 3:5). See Philippians 4:13 and Exodus 31:3. God gives true competence as we abide in Christ. See John 15:4,5. God values yieldedness above competence. See Exodus 4:10-14 and John 15:9,10.

3. Intelligence - God made each of us with sufficient intelligence to accomplish His purposes through us. "Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand" (Isaiah 64:8). Mark 12:30 commands us to love God with all our mind. It is difficult to love him with a mind which we reject as created inferior by Him. God does not value man's intelligence when it is exalted apart from him. "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate" (1 Corinthians 1:19). God values wisdom, knowledge, insight, and understanding above intelligence. And he gives these to us as we seek and ask. See Proverbs 2:2-6 and James 1:5.

4. Personality - God is responsible for the basic foundation of our personality, and to reject it is to reject His creative ability. "Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker. Does the clay say to the potter, 'What are you making'?" (Isaiah 45:9). Paul readily acknowledges weaknesses in his personality. "I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with demonstration of the Spirit's power" (1 Corinthians 2:3,4). "I am unskilled in speaking" (2 Corinthians 11:6). Even though Paul could admit personality problems, he didn't reject himself because of them. God values the fruit of the Spirit in our lives above personality. And as each fruit becomes evident, our personality becomes more Christlike.

5. Success - God's view of success contradicts the world's view. In Philippians 3:4-6 Paul listed his successes and then counted them as rubbish in order to gain Christ. God promises two kinds of success through Christ.

1) Unconditional success, based solely on Christ's work. See 2 Corinthians 2:14 and Romans 8:37.

2) Conditional success, based on both Christ's work and on conditions which we must fulfill e.g. meditation on the Word and obedience. See Joshua 1:8, Psalm 1:2,3; and abiding in Christ (John 15:4,5). God values faithfulness above success (in the world's terms). See Luke 16:10 and Revelation 2:10.

6. Unconditional Worth - As God's beloved children, we are of inestimable worth to Him on an unconditional basis (Ephesians 5:1, 1 John 3:1,2). We were "bought at a [very high] price" (1 Corinthians 6:20), "chosen" (Ephesians 1:4), a "dwelling place in which God lives (Ephesians 2:22), and much, much more. In fact more than 200 descriptions of us in the New Testamentattest to our unconditional worth because of Christ's work. Let's not deny his grace by giving into untrue feelings of worthlessness.

7. Acceptance of Weakness - Scripture never commands us to be critical of our weaknesses. In fact, we have a High Priest who sympathizes with our weaknesses (Hebrews 4:14). Yet most of us can't tolerate weakness, and so we can't accept ourselves as God does, with our weaknesses. The Lord said to Paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Paul's healthy response was, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses... For when I am weak, them I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). This attitude centers our thoughts on Christ rather than on self, enabling his power to flow through ourweaknesses. See 1 Corinthians 1:25-31.

8. Self-Love - God expects us to love ourselves (as He does), with agape. The only negative reference to self love in Scripture is 2 Timothy 3:2, where philautos means to be selfish or self-centered. God's view is "You shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:39); "He who gets wisdom loves himself" (Proverbs 19:8); "He who loves his own wife loves himself" (Ephesians 5:28). To love ourselves in a biblical way is to seek the ultimate, eternal good for ourselves, and this motivates us to "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness" (Matthew 6:33).

9. Freedom from Guilt - Guilt can be satan's "flaming arrows" sent to wound our sense of self esteem. But God has already dealt with all our guilt; we only need to appropriate His solution for it. To fail to do so is to fall into satan's hands. True guilt is resolved only through Christ's blood, according to 1 John 1:7,9. False guilt (feeling guilty when we aren't) is common among Christians. But it has no legitimate place in the Christian life, for in Christ we are described as holy, blameless, beyond reproach, consecrated, reconciled, righteous, justified, and more. Study, claim, and meditate on Colossians 1:22 and 3:12; Ephesians 1:4; John 17:19; Romans 5:9,10,19 and Romans 8:1,30.

Self-condemnation not only destroys healthy self esteem; it places personal feelings and judgments above God's own testimony to the effective sacrifice of his Son. Meditate on 2 Corinthians 5:21.

Summary - A healthy perspective on self esteem depends on heart-level integration of God's Word, which corrects distorted cultural values and internal judgments that destroy a biblical sense of our value in God's sight. We are not worthy, but we are of great worth. God has said so much in his Word about our worth to him that is must be very important to him that we integrate this truth into our hearts. Let's consciously work on growing in our understanding and acceptance of who we are, as His creation and beloved children.

TEN AREAS OF SELF ESTEEM IN THE SCRIPTURES

Ken Williams, Ph.D.

3. I have a boyfriend who says he has a personal relationship with God, but I don't see it. What do I say to him to get him to start a relationship with God?

For you to see your boyfriend's lack of personal relationship with God says a lot - it means you have very good spiritual discernment. You can encourage him to get in a guy's Bible study, but actually he has to want the relationship with God, and nothing you say or do can change his heart.

Here's some things you should be concerned about:

a. Is he drawing you closer to God, or away from God.

b. Is his mind more on making-out and doing ungodly things, than godly things?

c. Does he want to do and go places you know are not right?

d. Has he ever suggested to you to do things you know your parents would be upset about?

If you answered "yes' to any of the above questions, then I would caution you about him. If he is not really living for God now, he may not actually ever live for God later. There are no guarantees. You need to ask yourself if he is really worth risking your relationship with God.

4. I know God music is AMAZING! but why can't we listen to other music too?

God allows us to do whatever we want, but it doesn't mean because we can all things are good for us. Paul writes in

1 Corinthians 10:23 NIV - "Everything is permissible"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"--but not everything is constructive." Listening to music that does not edify Christ only adds things to your life which could affect your life in ways you don't need. Why open a door to something which could negatively affect you? There is enough in life to deal with without adding more to it. There is all kinds of Christian music to choose from - hip hop (Tobymac), rock (Skillet), worship (United). Why fill your mind with junk from people who don't care one thing about your God, when you have an opportunity to fill your mind with things that edify the God you serve?

Often I hear that "music doesn't affect me". I'm quick to respond by saying a few things:

- If hearing things does not affect you, then when someone gossips about you and you "hear" about it, you wouldn't care.

- If hearing things does not affect you, then when you tell someone you love them, it shouldn't bring comfort or security.

- If hearing doesn't affect you, then when the enemy tells you a lie, you wouldn't ever believe it.

- If hearing doesn't affect you, then when someone says something mean or rude to you, you wouldn't react.

- Here is another example: Ever hang around someone who is sarcastic or gossips too much? Then you find yourself doing the same thing?

All music carries a message. Therefore, if you are listening to lyrics that are sexual, cussing, or down right dirty, then it will affect you.

Matthew 15:13-20 - He replied, "Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots. Leave them; they are blind guides. If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit." Peter said, "Explain the parable to us." "Are you still so dull?" Jesus asked them. "Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.'"

Because music is such a huge issue, PiNK Ministries has a portion of this blog dedicated to this topic called Music Monday. We highlight Christian artists from various genres of music. Check in on Mondays for some good suggestions.

5. I have been praying for my friend who goes to church and has been going her whole life but she doesn't believe. Her Mom forces her to go! I have been talking to her but she refuses to listen. What more can I do?

Pray, and be cautious. Prayer changes things. Sometimes we don't see the results from our prayers for some time, but pray for her and continue to encourage her to read her Bible and pray. The "cautious" was added because sometimes when our friends will not listen, even those who go to church, they can make bad decisions. Be cautious not to be a part of her decisions should they go into a direction which is not godly. Protect yourself by not following her if she goes down the wrong road, but never quit loving her and praying for her.

6. How do you get back to Jesus after being apart from Him for a very long period of time?

Ask Him to forgive you for leaving Him out of your life, and then start praying daily & studying the Word. The Word will show you some things you need to change. Don't run from it, embrace what God is telling you to do and allow Him to change you to be more like Him. The more you walk with Him daily, the harder it is to get away from Him.

7. I don't feel like I've reflected God so much, but if I decide to, I'm afraid that kids will be freaked out by what I'm saying. I just want to know how to get a good start on telling others about God. I'm asking how to overcome my fear to glorify Christ.

First, start with your personal relationship with God. Start with praying first thing every day. Before you go to school and take time to read your Bible. As you get stronger in Christ then it will be much easier to overcome your fear. Just start having a great relationship with Jesus and He will give you the wisdom on how to handle each situation.

8. Have you ever had a day where you didn't feel like you reflected God? How did you overcome that?

Yes. I repented, picked myself back up, and asked God to help me overcome whatever caused me to feel like I didn't reflect Him. Learning scriptures on the subject and memorizing them, saying them several times a day, helps me overcome specific areas in my life.

Also, if you are looking for specific verses for topics I love the site: epictrek. It has great scriptures broken down into topics.

9. I want to be more like God and make a difference but I don't understand how.

Do you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior? If not, then ask Him to come into your life and be your Lord and Savior. Then, start reading the Word beginning at Matthew (in the New Testament) and get a notebook and write down things He shows you in His Word. Study those things and learn them. Start praying every morning and throughout the day for God to show you things. Ask Him to give you wisdom and understanding of things in His Word. He will open doors you never expected. It's the greatest life!

10. I was in a relationship, and called it off, because he didn't have the same values as me, 2 different personalities. I miss him. What do I do?

Don't go back. If you called it off because of the differences, then God showed you something. Missing him is normal, but time and God will heal that area. I have always found when I get involved in helping at church, serving with children, or assisting a ministry it's easier for me not to dwell on the issue. Maybe there is a young girl you can mentor or tutor, or befriend, and encourage in Christ.

11. I go to Bible study and I go to church and I say, "Amen" and I feel like I'm acting and I'm sick of it but I go back to the something when I leave and I have always had trouble with that I feel like I can't keep Jesus and sometimes like I don't even know Him?

Have you asked Jesus to be the Lord and Savior of your life? If so, then how much time do you spend praying and reading the Word of God? If you want to know Him you have to do it His way, which is through prayer and reading the Bible. Plan a time where it's just you and God. I can guarantee your life will become amazing! But, you have to do it His way, not yours. You need to make a choice, my friend. The only way to know Jesus is by making Him a part of your everyday life, and when you do, He will open doors and do great things in your life!

12. How should I reach out to non-Christians without being their friend without falling with them?

Jesus was the master at doing just that.....He hung around with sinners but they never affected Him. Why? Because of four things He constantly did:

a. He spent time every day praying. Several times a day.

b. He taught the Word. Which means He knew the Word - learn the Word

c. He spent more time around Believers than He did sinners.

d. He selected the places in which to meet with sinners.

If you will spend time praying and studying the Word of God on a daily basis, surround yourself with strong godly friends, then God will open the door for you to reach non-Christians. First get yourself into a secure place with God, then God can use you to do amazing things.....

13. Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons? Seriously though.... nobody gave birth to them....right?

The Bible doesn't specifically say if they did or didn't have belly buttons, so we will have to wait and see when we get to heaven....

But if you look at Genesis 2:7, you'll see that God "formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being." So Adam was made from dirt.

Then in Genesis 2:21-22, the "LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LoRD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man." So Eve was made out of Adam's rib.

Personally, I don't think they do have belly buttons since neither was born the traditional way... but that's just an opinion.

14. I love your scarfs, where do you get them?

Sam Moon a lot, but from all over.